Life is a series of problem. What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one."
Will I be strong enough to accept it and my life wont be difficult? This year, is fully filled with downs. When will it ever be gone?
Will I be strong enough to handle and accept it?
Am I strong enough to do everything right? Will I?
Thursday, May 20, 2004
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
~*alone again at
6:23 PM
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Ok..I MAKE IT!!! :D though I have not receive my grades for my science and computer application.. but still... I improve 2 modules' grade :) I tried so hard to respond... tried so hard to think of questions.. tried so hard to answer... and also.. force myself not to use MSN during discussion so that I can concentrate and focus... and then... really.. I got what I want! :) cheers :D Hee hee hee.. so happy now... for the time being... I have 6Bs and 2Cs, well at first my Cs were more than my Bs, now I have 3 times more Bs than my Cs :) yeah!!! hooray~!!! so happy!!!
I wish I can have straight Bs this week, but I guess not... because for my science module.. I know nuts.. I gave up.. and so I could not understand anything.. therefore, I might get a C... and there goes my straight Bs.. nevermind.. I am going to force myself more, push myself more and do whatever I can now.. I must, I must, I must... out of 16 lesson.. I must at least get 6As for myself... and 8Bs... I MUST!!! I MUST PUSH MYSELF HARDER!!! I do not wish to fail any modules... MUST WORK HARDER!!! though it is very hard.. but still it is POSSIBLE! because.. it had been proven... 3 facilitator had already said that I improved in my participation.. so I just need to work on more and then I can do iT!
Following are what my fac says about me for this week... :D
1. " I think you did very well in class today - you tried to understand and then explain some difficult concepts/ideas to the class. I can almost "see" your mind thinking =)"
2. "-Some very good contributions to the learning issues during the first meeting, Yunru. I appreciate you speaking up. -"
3. " Individual: I like your participation in class today, Yun Ru. You will definitely improve much if you continue with this."
1:58 PM
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Guys, I am sorry... I am having my mood swings these days... Sorry! I think you guys had noticed I have been rather quiet and not at my usual self... anyway.. guys.. this is me... I will try to change.. ok? But give me time, I need time to change...
Been through things and make me confused... well, I am getting to be tired already... tired of the PBL thing... PBL really needs alot of initiative, discipline, leadership, guts, strong will power... everything do I have? I really not sure... When I look at my grades for last week, 2Cs and 1B.. I was feeling quite disappointed.. I got Cs more than B.. then I was like sad, thinking how should I really go improving my grades.. I totally have no As... I just do not know why am I feeling sad when I see this.. And, when I received my science grade I got a B, I felt slighty happier.. and then.. I improved my Cognitive Processes grade to a B :) from a C to a B... so now, 2Cs, 3Bs.. I am glad.. but it was a difficult job for me... Bs, are really very hard to get... my science's B, all the work I do myself, I almost cried out... I am the scribe, I am the presenter and I am the leader.. I am everything.. I do everything.. I am just one, I cant do everything.. it was so tired... Getting a B for my cognitive.. well, I force myself to stay awake, I try to think of questions to ask, I try to think faster than the rest, so I am able to say out my answer and stuffs.. it was so difficult, I am so sloww, I am dumb, I need to do alot than I can get a B, was wondering am I going to be like crazy to get an A?
Tomorrow, till friday, I am going to face a team of s**t...a team who will not do anything... and tomorrow is enterprising... and now I am like mentally so down, and I force myself to focus for today's lesson was really wodnering if I can make it for tomorrow... Today, I almost shout at her.. ALMOST! but, I controlled, tomorrow is going to be a tough day man... facing her her for the rest of my 3days... hope i can really control myself...!
Was it because I am having mood swings therefore I am feeling this way? I am so tired... is she really going for new and forget old? I think no, I hope no, she is not that kind of person, I know, but now why on earth am I feeling it this way? Is it I rely on her too much? Is it that she can adapt fast, thats why? Now, I am rather clsoe to Raq, I feel that I am really stucking myself to ES people... I dont wish to think about this anymore... been thinking since last week, and I know, if I continue to think further on, I am going to be very negative... :(
CCA, it is a thing that I must decide also... other than Wushu, I want to join other CCA also... been thinking about netball... I am kind of afraid of Tony, looking at him shouting at his students give me the fear... the fear of unable to take his scoldings, unable to take everything... but today, when I saw Priya on my way back home, she "strangle" me because today there is a training, and I didnt go... the moment I saw Priya, I felt that I should just give it a try... Priya gave me a sense of warmth... it cools down my fear... I dont know why, but I just felt it that way... Just added Priya to my contact list, hope I both of us can talk soon, so as I can understand more, and hopefully my fear goes down... Mr Teo is right.. yet to experience and believe? New things always have fear what... is the same like now I am feeling some fear to join wushu also... so I should really conquer my fear...
Hmm.. there are still quite a number of things in my mind actually... but now it is slightly better... hmm.. if I have the time tomorrow, then I will just blog more tomorrow, wanted to blog today's break, but was in a very lousy mood to do so...
9:48 PM
:( so long never blog already... many things happened in school on friday and monday... and I dont have the time to do it... I feel like there are so many things to do now... no longer like lastt week... now having my first break... therefore i think later got time then blog what i want to blog... anyway...
these are the things i must made decision:
1. want to join netball or not but im afraid of tony...
2. join the YEP thingy - going to cambodia
.... ........................ ........... .........
9:31 AM
Saturday, May 08, 2004
It is a bad day for me yesterday... I thought thursday is bad enough.. but it was worse for yesterday..
12:43 PM
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I must remember on 07/05/2004 (Fri) to go Strathmore block 0310. at 4.30pm.. why? because.. is a meeting for WUSHU!.. hee hee hee... I am so happy... well, I want to propose idea at first.. but well it is being accepted because one of the year two studnet had already propose the idea.. and so.. now I save my effort to propose and worried it wont start or even worried that if I start the CCA, I only have time for 1 CCA.. and now.. it just save me.. :) anyway there is quite a number activity I want to join in school... which is like...
1. Netball
2. Wushu
3. Badminton
4. SLC (CIP)
5. YEP (going Cambodia)
some of them was because of NYAA (Silver) anyway, I have yet to submit it... and yes, there is a camp in september also interested in joining.. haha.. now I must really think about it and stuffs....
10:50 PM
Today module is computer application and basic numerical dont know what... it really sucks... cause I know nothing about programming.. and I must make 1 program.. oh it was shitty shit man!... it is so difficult.. the first problem I faced was... I cant install my program... and then later i
1:13 PM
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I didnt blog what was my module yesterday.. hee hee.. ok.. yesterday module was "Culture and Communication"... I got a B grade for this module... this was David's cmment about my RJ... " -Great job presenting your team's learning issues during the second meeting, Yun Ru. -Great RJ for a start, Yun Ru. I enjoyed reading your RJ. Communication is a process because it involves various stages (encoding-> decoding-> feedback, plus noise, etc). Understanding them will help us become better communicators. Communication is not the same as “talking,” in many ways, and hopefully after today you have a better appreciation of what it takes to communicate. Hopefully through today’s problem, you now have a better appreciation of what it takes to communicate (two-way) versus just “talk” (one-way). -I look forward to hearing more of your ideas during class discussion, Yun Ru. -Quiz: 2/4"
For my cognitive process.. I got a grade C.. I am really wondering why is it so? But well... guess is because I didnt really participate alot... One thing in RP is that... if you dont respond, give ideas, shout out your ideas and stuffs... = YOU GOT LOUSY GRADE... 1 thing I should count myself lucky is that though I am not as responsive like Rach, Sajini or Sequeena... but I still give a few of my ideas and respond abit.... (it is not myself anymore) and at least I still pass ;) When David gave us our grades, there is this guy who was very quiet and he failed his 1st module or I think just pass cause he got a D... then I really realise the importance of responding.... Yes, I am now doing for my grades, but I think it is better, because if I got a habit to do it... in future time, I wont be feeling weird, scared, worried about asking questions anymore....
Lets talk about today lesson.. it is on Enterprise- Managing People... was listening... then did our presentation... Actually now I really wondering have I really learn form these 3 lessons?I am really thinking... nevermind.. later than think... I still got my RJ not done...
7:06 PM
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Before blogging about my lesson today... I want to write what my fac. yesterday comments about my RJ and the quiz taken yesterday... this is what he wrote..
"Quiz 6/6 – good answers to 3a) and 3b). It is always important to read the fine print to find out the details in advertisements.
I’m sure you’ll get to know your team mates better in the course of the semester. You have learnt about the basic problem solving skills. Ask yourself, WHY do you do some of these things (eg Why do we discuss? Why do we ask relevant questions? How will these things help us solve the problem?). Spend some time to reflect more deeply on the day’s lessons. Think of how you can apply what you’ve learnt today.
Your group has demonstrated a good understanding of the problem solving process. But you and your group must speak and participate more in class discussions. This will help the class to learn and also improve your grade. "
Well, reflections about yesterday... well I was really not paying attention in class... the moment I was in school.. I on my msn and chat.. then latar listen abit and stuffs like that and then sleep when Alvin was doing his presentation... and... cause was the first day, I didnt know we have to do reflective journal(RJ) and a quiz... and this is going to be our grades.. I was like.. oh no... cause I really dont know what to do... and.. haha.. I got his reply... hmm 6/6 hmm... ok... was quite happy... cause is a good start for me.. :) ok enough.. talk about today's lesson...
Today lesson was like cause yesterday after Mr Teo said those things then I was like -.- and so today I tried so hard to keep myself awake... and during my lunch break I quickly eat my lunch and then I went up to blog abit and sleep.. to make sure I dont fall asleep for my 3rd meeting... and... yes I didnt.. :) but the RJ question is very difficult.. really got difficulty to answer.. but this is my 1st time.. hope can do better next time...
8:32 PM
Monday, May 03, 2004
Ok.. actually planning to start blogging the first day of me stepping into RP which is during my camp.. but today I am super tired.. so I cant... therefore I am here to blog about today lesson...
Ok.. woke up at 6.20am today.. was so damn reluntant to wake up... but still... was suppose to leave my house by 6.40 but.. I was late.. and then when reach my bus stop my bus went off.. then later I waited for 5mins... another bus came... and then I just board the bus.. cause the timing is all wrong and I thought I am going to be late and so I walk very quickly... and then board the train.. but.. who knows.. I reach at 7am.. when I suppose to be reaching at 7.10am.. haha.. and then sarah-ann was late.. so waited for her for about 20mins.. then reach Eunos then meet up with kenny.. then the 3 of us went to Redhill and meet up with the rest... and we walked to school...
1st lesson.. well.. I was really worried about PBL.. then it was like... hmm dont know how too explain.. but anyway my first module is Cognitive Process and problem solving... then it was like.. starting watch a Rugby game then later we were gven a task... the task was to fill up "what we know, what we dont know, what we need to find out for the game..." so it was like -.- then after lunch it was like when i went back my class someonehad already finish the task... I did nothing actually... then later we just present then look at others presentation.. then later it was the fac. who present.. then i was like -.-! i slept... not really intentionally or what.. just that i doze off... was really tired lohz... then also was talking in msn with some of my camp's friends...
This lesson was like haiz.. cause I really never really do anything.. then I also like never really pay attention.. and.. hmm.. all i did was chatting in msn.. then later sleep.. then go home.... tomorrow might be better lah...
11:06 PM
