Life is a series of problem. What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one."
Will I be strong enough to accept it and my life wont be difficult? This year, is fully filled with downs. When will it ever be gone?
Will I be strong enough to handle and accept it?
Am I strong enough to do everything right? Will I?
Sunday, February 27, 2005
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~*alone again at You were once too soft, you do not have the goal in mind. Since now you have it, you need to know how to get it. Get it right! =)
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11:44 PM
I just realised one thing... tomorrow the day of result is a different day from last year...
I will all be alone.... no more her and no more him... and most of all no more them... I dont know where she is now... He and them are not even in my school... I will really be alone... can I really survive through alone...??? My classmates are taking the results too... but I dont feel any happy or comfortable at all... oh gosh... I know no matter how the result is, my tears will flow because even now its like flowing any moment... gosh.........
Tonight I suposed is a night whereby most people couldnt sleep... even my juniors.. because its their match... their crucial match... and also those who are taking their results tomorrow... and please... god.. do not rain tomorrow... you have rained enough yesterday and today.. so please.. dont rain tomorrow... please... I wish all the best to my juniors and the people taking result tomorrow...
*I need to be calm tomorrow... even there is nobody beside me.. no matter what.. I need to be strong!*
6:47 PM
I didnt report work today because I was really very tired and still feeling headache.. therefore I smsed Alan because I remembered he is working this morning...
At about 1pm gua smsed me telling me she is now beside my school.. -.- then so I just woke up and cooked my lunch... then I told her to remind me to remind SM to get her 7-up ice tomorrow... then another sms came in... it was Dua Hai! He wishes me all the best... =S
Seriously, I'm feeling the anxiety already... anyway, yesterday when he, Cindy and Siewmei was talking about result it realy makes me very upset... especially the part about Cindy said he says that she didnt do well.. because it just make me recall the time when I went to school at about 1.30pm and... went to the gym to look for him... and... he kept his promise.. and.. eventually I cried... its just exactly one year ago.. and now... again... haish... I really dont know how... I still could remember the promise I made to myself.. not to cry.. but I couldnt help it... it just flow the moment I heard that... wah lau.. now as I am blogging... everything that happened that day just flashed into my mind....
"Walking inside the school... looking for him... in the gym... he dont really want to speak anything... and he looks very hesitant and finally he did... I was glad to hear part of it... but he hesitant for a while.... and finally he said... I cried the moment I heard that... all I heard before that had all just been forgotten... I cried.... everyone of them asked if I am alright... they came in... he didnt say much to them... but she was feelin sad also... because it was not expected... we went up together at 2pm... I was just too upset upon hearing it... I appoached her... telling everything... and she accompany me to my place... I controlled my tears so as the others wont know... but it just cant be controlled... I still remembered Ms T wanted to bring me down to the counselling room just because I was crying.. and Neo approached Mr Teo so as to save me... he was there... she was there.. I am grateful for that... I tried to control myself.. and then I thanked Mdm tey for her help.. and she asked me to thank her.. then I have no courage to see Mdm Noreha or Ms Sakinah at all... I hang around in the hall for a while... then he saw me then he said go down.. and down to the PE room... at that moment, I really do not know what to do... I felt like staying in ES for another year... but I really dont know.. I dared not call my mum.. it was just a bad day for me... we went to eat but well.. the rest of the things I had forgotten..."
Tomorrow... it shall be a brand new story! I dont know how it will be like... but I know no matter what result I get... its going to be a hard decision or hard result for me to accept...
3:38 PM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Bloody hell! I just fallen sick again.. haish... I really dont know why but I have been easily fallen sick! Just by looking at my records of the days in the past and now I really fell sick too easily. I always remembered that I always fell sick once a semester when I was still in secondary school or even a year fell sick once. But eversince I got into RP, I remembered seeing doctor for about three or four times per semester! This semester I already fell sick 3 times now is the forth time! DOwn with sore throat and very bad headache !!! I guessed today why headache also because of this bah... stupidly I still have to work tomorrow... haish...
This morning woke up at 8am, wanted to wake up at 7am and go to school but in the end I didnt because I couldnt wake up and I think theres no need for me to go so early also... When I woke up at 8am, I felt so bloody sick... my throat was so painful... that swallow my saliva also painful... so I just went to school because of their training... it rained before we could even start playing... finally we played under the rain cause at first it stopped in the end it started drizzling again... but we just carry on... then later we go eat then we go arcade and I played my favourite game then went back home because they were very tired so am I therefore went back home and sleep... Now I shall blog about the training... haish..
Their 1st drill is to bring the ball to their attacking third... talked about them, maybe because the ground is too slippery already... then later perrine keep couldnt get the pass... well, hopefully they will do better in AHS match... next is myself... I really cannot defend well at all... I mean its like I am afraid of falling and then so I couldnt really dare to run alot and intercept the ball especially lob passes... then also.. I couldnt really stop her from running away, and haish.. she just get away from me so easily... =( I was WD at that point of time.. and I just couldnt do it.. damns!!!
2nd drill, which is thei zone defence... damn... I realised I cant change my way of playing... I mean I was so used to the way I play in RP that eventually I cant do it in ES as SM and Cindy have a different way of playing... also, I cant get used to the position I played, I was WD again, I was like playing as if I am a C... damn it... haish... so sad so sad... I cant change my position and change my way of playing.. fuk it can!? Haish!!! so damn bloody sad... Things got better when JS become the GK, because she is more daring of throwing long passes(almost the same as RP) that is why it turned out to be alright... but still haish...
Things wasnt any better after 3rd drill... which is their defence drills... once again, I cant change the way of playing... getting used to play long passes, now I really cannot do short passes... I tend to pass long... and its like I played WA, I couldnt even run out to get the pass! Damn!!! I really need to learn how to play WD and WA... because definately I wont stick to C everytime.. and as a C, I am not at all good... therefore its really time to train as a WA and WD and since starting up the club, therefore position wise is really very unpredictable... its time already... its time...
MOnday result... I cant missed that module again... because once I missed it, I will fail that module which eventually will pull down my grades even further... I will go fo that lesson... but definately I believe I will leave early... plus now I am sick and tomorrow got to work which means I lack of rest... so maybe Monday will be so sick... that Jessica might ask me go home early or rather will ask me to go back... but again... I wont be going home as its the important match for my juniors... so I will be there... even my result were to make me cry...
Thanks hubby for those word, but I really feel that I am sort of selfish... just because of my interest and harm their future? This set me thinking again, because my ambition is to be teacher and if because of my ambition and harm the students future? I really dont know.. maybe right now I just not in the right mind to think... and maybe like you say, I just need more experience and exposure... guess once the start of my holidays I will spend all my time with them, and if really cannot then will see how it goes....
8:26 PM
Friday, February 25, 2005
Morning, I forced myself not to take the Pasir Ris train because I was late. I didnt want the fac to have a bad impression of me, since today its her first day. I reached the class at 8.35am. I wasnt that late. Today lesson was still alright to me. I think I really like science, because its interesting and its very easy to understand. How stupid I was in the past of not choosing Biology just because I want to follow me sister. How stupid! Well, I managed to respond and understand and help my teammates, hopefully from now till the end its a straight As. I acheived another A from enterprise again! =) Heee... well done! =) If I managed to make my enterprise and science module become GPA 3, my overall wont be so bad because my C&A and Cognitive is a confirm C! which is just a 2 and is a just pass! I prayed and will work hard to make my VB, science and enterprise getting 3! =)
Today UT was sucky because I really dont know how to do. I gave up on this UT but I told myself the last UT I must make sure I score a high grade, because is on integration and differentiataion! I must make sure I study and do well for it! Nothing about school, the rest are the things that is on my mind and which is very important which is my reflection or maybe some thoughts of an important role.
Anyway, before that I want to say is that they lost the match today. Haish... they put on the fight is only at the last quarters which was too late. They only managed to bring the score up to 4 points different. =( Well, maybe at least they didnt lose too much. Hopefully, they will win AHS with a bigger margin!
What is it that is on my mind? Me as a training coach. I am learning, I am under training but I really realised about one thing which make me understood what he meant before I was being accepted. "You need to be down at least once a week." I realised I had disappointed him and most importantly the lower secs. This whole week I wasnt down at all because of my school! I heard from Ms Goh was they had forgotten how to use outer leg, their passes, their everything is really very bad. I was really very upset upon hearing this. I can get angry with them for not remembering but me as their 'coach' I didnt go down and make sure they remember so what can I say!? I really hate myself for what I had heard! Secondly, the disrespect they showed Ms Goh on Wednesday was really unbearable! Maybe its not disrespectful but they are just getting a little out of hand already! Thinking she is too easy to bully like what the seniors think? But she is still a teacher come on! I realised for the past few lesson that I spent with them was just too easy, too soft, too shittyy already! I really feel like skipping school and go down for every of their lesson and teach them some lesson!!! But, I really dont know, I really feel so bad now after hearing they forgotten and I think its really because they are not in proper training!!! I think I really failed as a coach! Haish!!! I realy dont know I should continue or not, its like I still want to try, I still want to do my best because I like doing but I really dont wish to harm the girls anymore. Haish... its all my fault man! But I know, next week I really want to give them hell already! I really had enough of all these nonsense everytime I down I can hear alot of stories! They are really killing emotionally!
11:58 PM
Thursday, February 24, 2005
What agaiN!? Today training cancelled again! Waited in school till about 7pm then it was said to be cancelled! Its so bloody hell lorhs... Tuesday wasted my money then today wasted my time... its so shit!!! I was so hungry also... therefore decided to go eat then I saw Kenny therefore we have dinner together Bugis... =) Then had a chat then we went back home... shucks man! The team at RP is so shiT! WHat else can I do to help the team? Tell me!!!??? Haish... how I wished I am back in ES... sighs... the club please quickly set up!!! I really miss playing netball games already... I missed it soooo deeply and never I have the chance for a long time... haish...
Today I was late agaiN! I was having test, yet I care less and reached the school at 8.50am... heee..actually I was thinking if i cant sit for the test than forget it larh.. cause its my fault what... but its miracle that I still can sit for the test =) So happy can.. haha.. then did my best lahs... then lesson was on Integration, like I said, I couldnt understand at all... and its so feaking -.- duhs... so just tried my best and so I get over and done with the lesson.. =) But tomorrow theres a retake for VB.. I dont know how to do... so I really dont know should I retake the test or not lorhs.. its like.. Mr Teo isnt online, then I couldnt ask lorhs... so its like.. arghh.. die liao lar.. sumore my classmates thought I know and even ask me.. so argh.. retake or dont retake???
Tomorrow is their 2nd match.... against TKGS... my wife, gf and bf's school.. I dont know, but I really hope they win and hopefully DMN will lose to AHS... but all these arent my control... all I could do is just to pray.. and hopefully my wish come true... will be there as soon as I can...
10:02 PM
I found this in my mail, and its so true... just a little reminder to all who read... and if you think back again, actually they are your closest and the ones who you truly love...F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse. Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means? FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
2:16 PM
What the hell right? I dont know how to do integration already... Test should be on differentiation and integration... so I think tomorrow test I will not stay back and do... I will do my best for my last test.. but before that I need to ask people for help... hahaha!!!! =X Mr Teo, or my hubby will not be spared by me... heee heee heee.... =X oops...
Today test... erms... alright lahs... but dont know can score mahrs lorts.. heee....
Anyway O level heard to be on monday and not on friday ler... hmm sigh of relief though... =)
Anything else? Hmm... I dont think so liao la.. will add on later...
11:49 AM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Just now when I was blogging, I was like doing something else.. therefore wasnt really thinking for what had happened therefore now I will blog again...
This morning woke up with some muscle aching... because of yesterday's pathetic 1 hour of PT... it was so crap when I realised I got muscleachinG! Well, like I said just now, I was late for classes today... I reached at 8.50am today... heee... I took the fac for granted actually, thinking there wont be any penalize therefore I went late well for the rest of the teachers, I know I will be penalise for being late therefore when I reached simei mrt station after 7.30am I wont take the train to Pasir Ris... but today, I was at the train station at 7.45am and I just took it because was too tired already.... didnt want to go school, but I see no good reason for not going too...
Oh yes, 2 more days to go... my result will be out... seriously, I am freaking worried about it... I mean, I really dont know what the result will be and I really dont know what I will do too... and my friends seemed like doesnt want to go school on that day, but I know I will go, but I'm not sure what I will do after 2.30pm... =S I shouldnt be supersitious but, I just want to say I feel this paper is much easier than my previous one... but its like, I always confident in a paper, the paper I will flunk badly! I should just keep my fingers crossed... =X
Today lesson, its on Enterprise... well, this module was much better then the rest because to me its more relevant and I understand why I must do all these... And, I understand what I am presenting... Once again, my quiz was 9/10 =) I hope my grads is another A for this... anyway, UT tomorrow... hopefully I can do well.. anyway... I didnt study because I dont knwo what to study, so I just save all my work and thats it...
Lesson ends at 3.30pm so I need not take cab down to Dunman... so I take my time to take train and then reached Tamp then I took a cab down... called Miss Goh for the timing of the match... but well, managed to reach there in between of the 1st quarter.. =) Its a draw game again... both happy and sad for it... Sad, because its going to depend on the other schools to know the final result and never we will have control over that... and Happy because they tried not to lose to them and managed to draw the game at the final whistle... But... haish... it could be better... but... why cry over the spilled milk?(am i right?) Hopefully they could do well on friday... haish.. no matter what... I will be there...
After everything, had dinner at St Hilda's there... didnt know what to eat, so in the end ordered noodle and soup to eat... my hubby so good, really bought 'wu xiang' heee... =) anyway, I was bluffed to eat cucumber again! GOSH! YUCKS! Almost vomit out again, I really hate the taste of it... certain vegetables I can eat, just that I dont like, but cucumber and 'dou miao' really sucks! Not to mention, I didnt get my card again! Well so stupid!!! Cucumber inside my stomach digesting.. my poor stomach! =( Well, theres training tomorrow, so maybe can see hows my situation then decided again should go see the doctor or not... since theres no card for now also...
Tomorrow training... I wonder how it will be... dont know if many of them will go or not.. theres so much to talk about... I really hope to see all of them... please people...
Anyway, I knew 2 things.... well... I have decided to keep within myself for the time being... till a better time then I will say... because for the time being, I never believe is the right time to do so... =(
Well, I better do something also.. haish.. feeling the pressure already... =(
11:20 PM
Wah laux... just an hour of physical training and a little of NAPFA makes my back hurts alot, some more is my old injury that side... bloody hell... then my buttock also... dont know why like got blister like that... then arhs sit down is like so painful.. I bathe worse lorh.. cause the blister is burst so very the painful... so arhs.. i hate sitting down.. cause back hurts when i lean back.. then sit down a little pain.. wah lau eh.. just 1 hour of PT siax...
Anyway, my NAPFA... erms... sit n reach - C, standing board jump - E, Inclined - A, Shuttle run - B... shit sia.. so lousy! so lousy... !!! Anyway, my arms and legs also a little aching.. haha.. just an hour of PT... so lousy sia me...
Oh yes, I think I must really thank YY, because of her, I really got the motivation and the determination of running fast... yesterday I was really veyr happy.. because when I was sprinting I could feel that I was slightly faster? maybe thinking too much.. but I force myself to swing fast and side by side... maybe sm was running slow.. but i managed to over take her... must train.. to be fasterr... =)
11:00 AM
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Didnt blog yesterday... it was a wonderful day... because I ended lesson at 2.30pm.. hahaha... because 3rd meeting starts at 1.30pm... hahaha.... I even go home put my bag then go and watch their match... hahaha.... but lesson sucks... really dont know what to do.... then just crapping and anyhow do the powerpoint lorhs... then anyhow present lorhs... then after their match.. eat dinner at sembawang lorhs... =) then go back home lohrs... do my work lorhs... then felt so tired.. sleep lorhs.... plan for today lesson then went to sleep liao... was too tired.. but dont know why.... anyway... he pointed out my mistake for the changing of direction lerhs... so well.. got to make my plan soon too...
Today... went to school for training... -.- all the sec 1s got antismoking thing... then so bored lorhs... left only 3 players... so I taught sok peng shooting... and then joanne and siyun do passes... then about 3.30pm most of the sec1 came down... so went for a run... I see anywhere got no people then run... ran around the school then under the block.... then later go up 4th level do more than 100 situps... then later... go down... sprint the corridor.. then did pushups... then so on and on... but sucky thing happen to me.... sprint after the 1st time super headache.... but still carry on... then later sprint 2nd time... gosh... vision blurred for a moment.. bloody hell.. like going to faint.. but that happened before.. so I just walk around and wait my vision clear.. then do the JJs... but was really bad.. damN! thought alright already.. in the end.. headache back again..
Anyway, after that... about 6.50 left ES... wanted to go RP... then he drove me to tamp inter... cause I want to eat so took cab.. shit it... in the cab.. then they call me says.. very few people.. so nevermind... dont need come! shit it! so went to toa payoh to take bus home... then felt so arghh!!! bloody hell!!! arghhh!!!
Tomorrow.. their 1st 2nd round match... good luck gers! will be there asap larhs.. though my present doesnt matter also...
8:36 PM
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Once again, we argue and quarrel again... I dont like this... because I always hate to argue with you all about this issue! I really hate it! But you always wanted me to change my idea, and never have you think about you changing your idea.. and most importantly, actually is my fault too because I never liek to sit down and talk about it... but you never care and bother also... to you is just my own habit, own attitude... thats why we we will never be able to talk... fuk... its just like you and him...
I really know what I am doing! I know you care! I know... but I know what I am doing ok!? Please... stop having that kind of thinking can!!??? I really pissed off any moment when such things happen... they know what they are doing also!!! FUk! Also, please please please.. dont compare me and her... she is nto close with her teachers doesnt mean I CANT, I WONT and I SHOULDNT!!!!! stop all these nonsense!!! AND YOU!!!! dont know anything just shut up!
This morning when to work... once agian... feel like quitting the moment I want to go work... and well.. Alan made me feel in WWW... it doesnt really makes me feel out of place... thanks.... but well... I cant rely on him too much also!!! I dont know.. to quit or not.. all depends later time... when I really get involved in my school, coaching, netball and everything... if things really cant cope.. then I shall just quit...
After work, went to swim but well it was so stupid.. tamp complex was close.. so travel to bedok to swim.. and well.. by the time I reached, the sun had already become not strong.. and so I cant get the tan and redness I want...
I dont wish to blog anymore.. of what had happened just now really dampen my bloody mood!!!!!!!!
9:05 PM
"You will be able to view your GCE O-level results only on the day they are officially released. Please check the local media for details.
Your PIN has been sent to you by post. You may change this number through the Internet before 24 February 2005. "
Guess it will really be 25th... god damn bloody hell.... haish!
8:40 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Forgot to blog about something about yesterday, I took my weight, it was 48kg but very sad to say, its 26% of fats! Oh damn it!!! And, if the average, the gauge for my age and height should be till 24% so, I am 2% overweight!!!! I was so upset about it... I didnt really show it, but I am really very very very irritated by it... I wanted to skip meals like before, doing what I used to do.. but but but... I think my health no longer able to take it... when I skipped meals, I tend to have my headache, and if were to smell any foreign smell I will just feel like vomitting and worse of all, if were to smell it for a long time, and in a cab, I can tell you I will feel as if I am fainting! I cant walk straight at all! No longer I am allow to skip meals and I dont really dare to do so too... I really think its because of the time I spent in exercising is lesser, much lesser that leads to this... =( No longer I am that meng anymore, no longer I am that strong, no longer I am that determined, no longer I am that perserver anymore... everything I am no longer at it... =( Sighs... what can I do? DamN!
ANyway, I also realised I am a bit soft and the girls arent really that serious and I am not that happy also.. so eventually I sort of told them off... "I can play and joke, but in training I want all to be serious, and, if you try to be funny with me... go back hoMe"...
Yesterday wasnt really in the mood, because I was really tired, was rushing everywhere... then training was like that.. then later know about my 26% of fats.. arghhs.. so was really sad and sianx... then at night go and think of my result.. damn it! arghhhh....
Anyway, I did my plan 5 today, because I was bored, but turned out I need to change my warm up and also oen of my drill needs to be rethink! =( I cant think of it!! Thats what I am sad about it... hais... and... haish.. still got to try and think... and.. i musnt rely on him too muccchhhhh..!!! i must remind myself of this!!! arghh!!!
Today morning, training, just normal.. trained up their defence then he kena mobilise... then we eat then went home.. then we go mdm tey's house... then we go PP to get their shoes.. then back home.. then I start my plan 5... tomorrow got to work! damn shit!!! tired tireed... sleepp soon...
11:11 PM
Friday, February 18, 2005
I went to bathe, my mind filled with my o level result... I dare not feel confident anymore... everytime when I am confident, everything just kills it and even dampen my mood... When I was bathing, I am imagining the situation... probably its going to happen on the 25th, a friday... my Science module..
"2.01pm, in the class, going to the website, www.seab.gov.sg ... log in using my pin... looking at my english result.. and straight i off my computer and left the class without a word, but a drop of tear... dont know where to go, just go aimlessly... finally i reached a place where its so peaceful and seeing the sea... breeze blowing against my sad face and tears keep dropping... dont wish to care about anything but just sitting down there, feeling so useless and worthless... wasting another 100 bucks to fail that damn piece of paper... seeing the joy of my classmates who had passed... and me the only one who got F... felt so down and just have the feeling of jumping into the sea to clear everything... but... but.. but... "
I am now so worried actually... tears already welling up.... and drop by drop rolling down... I didnt know I would actually teared even when the result is not out... I really dont know what I will do if I had received the damn result... I really dont know....
11:17 PM
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Finally done with my planning.. takes me about 1 or 2 hours to do it... Wanted to change a little of the planning so I spend more than 2 hours to think about it... in the end, still not very good I realised... I think I need to borrow some books to read up on skills dvelopment also, cause it seems that I dont really know what the points needed to be taught in a particular skill.
Today was just quite boring... went to sleep early yesterday... was very tired... woke up at about 8+++ when supposingly to be waking at 7+++ Didnt want to go school so early because I just think that this open house just seemed to be crap... and there is like nothing to do... I am right, I actually slacked there for about 3hours! Really doing nothing...
Heard about the new sports diploma... feel like going in but well see how it goes... anyway, I went back to ES.. wanted to train, but my old sickness is back... my bloody headache... actually it had haunted me for 3days, on and off.. on and off.. sotong was waiting for me, so I cannot reject her... then in the end didnt really run, but we did train a little and run a little... Went back to CCA room... tried to do gua's amaths... ha.. didnt really manage to do it...
Went to eat dinner... then crapping as usual... then later =) lesson 3 was better then my lesson 2.. well.. it takes me hours to do that... hopefully lesson4 was even better... wongyunru... damN!!! theres nothing i can say about this man! sooo tupid!!! my card is taken away from me agaiN!!!! damn!!! i better get going.. and try to do some amaths qns for gua.. if not I will owe her dinner.. =S
11:31 PM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Ha... just received 2 letters from the MOE!!! =( Wah, so scary wondering what is it... then arh, found out its a letter letting me know that I can receive my result through the internet on the day of release of results... dengs! I was like.. damn! So fAST!? I predict its going to be next week! =S Oh no!!! So dengs right? I really wonder what the result will be! I really think the result will be on 25th already because 23rd its the last day for me to change my pin number... =S Another letter also the letter of JAE... hahaha... Once the release of result, will be the day of dilenma too.. sighs... is either retake or change school... -.- Definately I need to make a choice... sighs... Anyway, also whether to retake amaths for fun or not... hahaha... =X I will see how first larhs... haish! haish! haish!
10:12 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Today I dont know should say is a good day or bad day... Got happy and both sadness... Morning, like I said, it was bad because of the test and lateness... But after that it was better because it became differentiation and I know how to do... also that theres a retake of the test next friday... After that, I thought it would be a rather busy day but turns out to be alright, because went Sports Club though did nothing but I slept for a while =) and I need not stay after my training.. =)
My training was bad at the start... before that when he came to school, the first thing he said was, "Happy larh, ES happy lar.." with those kind of unhappy but faking look.. After that, worse still, we do our warm up and he taught the newcomers some basic things... Well, the rest of us just went to play a little of volleyball then later like boring, play 'no man's land' then after that bored, I suggested to do some cannon passes then later did the wall thing... It was just so bored and its like wasting of time... worse still.. after that they went to play volleyball... I dont know, maybe because most of the time I spend in ES was just about looking and teaching that makes me really loves to play... and that was why I was slightly unhappy about the whole thing... Finally, they decided to play street netball =) Well, my passing wasnt really good, it was very lousy... and I was rather unhappy though... then finally rested for a while and suggested to him to play a full court game...
4 of peiru's friends came to school and well we asked them to join us in the game... and well, overall my play was still not too bad other my passing was quite high or maybe hard that kelly couldnt catch it... Position wise, I think it was still alright... I think I still know where and how to run and my catching was perfectly well... I mean I didnt drop any balls... footwork, it was alright too =) I think no basic mistakes also... Its just my defending and passing... defending though I could make them dont really want to pass my opponent C, but still didnt manage to intercept ball which I am upset about it... Well, I shoukd say, after such a long rest, I think I am still up to mark... =) But still improvements need to be there.. oh not forgetting, I think because of the constant reminder of front cut to perrine, and running away from defender this had made it into my mind also... and I should say, I did try it without much thinking.. haha.. =) And, I think I should say coaching and looking at the B div play and secretly listening to mr teo really did help me a little or I should say without knowing, I have sort of taken a little bit of those experience and eventually when I myself is on court, I actually reminded myself... thanks mr teo for that...
Other than all these nothing much to blog... but theres something I really wish to blog it now... I dont know if I am trying too hard for it... maybe its a wrong choice and a wrong move and thats is why I am feeling it this way... Sometimes, I really felt very happy but there are times when I am really very upset and can just cry... I really dont know, maybe I am just expecting too much and there is why when things go my way, I will get sensitive and then feel sad about it... And well, I do hope this is the reason.... also maybe because I just tried too hard... and I think sometimes, trying to hard is bad also... (I think someone did told me this before, mr teo is it you? or hubby?) Maybe, really maybe I am just trying too hard.. maybe its time to let it go a little... and after thinking for a whille.. I think I am just thinking too much.. and well.. let it go a little also..
Not forgetting something... thursday I am down for Openhouse but well, its only until 2pm and I think if the girls doesnt have any own training then will ask if anyone wants to join me in running and I am sure YY will want... and JS and Sai wouldnt mind too if they are free... As for Friday, maybe will not go down for OH as there will be training...
10:24 PM
Today is a very bad day..... Woke up late because I felt very tired and so I woke at 7am. Was so tired that when I am peeing, I almost felt asleep again.. =X Due to the lateness, I also late for the bus therefore I got to wait for the bus.... and well, the bus came at about 7.30am! I wanted to take to Pasir Ris, but it seems that I cant do that because I will be very late, and today got test lorhs, so cannot… =( Wanted to go buy my breakfast, then don’t have the food I want! Damn! So suay so suay.... no luck no luck…. =X
I reached the school at about8.40am then realize that the school connection sucks! Worse still, yesterday I cannot get the work and so I dont know hwo to do the test... If I can pass this stupid test, I will treat everyone dinner!!!
Anyway, today lesson made my day, because is AMATHS! =) Differentiation =) Hees... so I am going to work for an A =) Oh.. anyway.. boring also.. because got lesson and then training and then sports club.. eeek...
10:49 AM
I think I didnt blog about that day in school celebrating Janelle's birthday. Maybe I shall side track abit first... Janelle is the advisor of Sports Club. I know her when doing the trip to KL for netball... she thinks that I am really on about Sports and she asked if I wanted to join Sports Club, well asking what is the task of Sports club, I agreed without much thinking.
I was very on for most of the meetings and events before 2005. For almost all the events and meetings I went for it. It was after 2005, I started to have commitment in my coaching therefore I missed quite a few events and meetings. But on that day for Janelle's birthday, I think that was the first day of 2005 that I met all the sports club members. I always couldnt meet the deadline of the task given to me, but I did still hand in though. On the day of Janelle's birthday, we celebrated for her, and its like some of them left without eating and so I decided to do so because Ben was there. But strangely, she didnt drag any of them to eat the cake, but me. Its like, most of the time, she is quite concern about me knowing what to do and stuffs and now she drag me. To me, maybe because I am new so she is like this. But before CNY, she gave me the task of making CNY card. I was wondering why is it me, but again, missing the deadline but still managed to do it. I never asked why I am always the one, but still do. Now, surprisingly, she asked me joined the guys to go to the MINDS school to discuss about the MINDS game in RP. I felt slightly pressure now. Maybe because I am new therefore she wants me to learn or she is setting some expectation for me? And its like more and more task are given to me and feeling the weight on my shoulder. Now, I really dared not to say I am not free for Sports Camp. =( =S I feel that I am disappointing Janelle, if every tasks she gave me and I cant complete, but she keep giving me a lot of task, and never she wants other but me... :S
"From: Janelle Koh Sent: Monday, February 14, 2005 6:25 PMTo: LI YIJUNSubject: RE: MINDS school visiting
Can ask yunru to go along also?
Best Regards,
Janelle Koh
Office of Sports Development
DID: 6510 3044 Fax: 6415 1310"
I realised more and more work are given to me... wah! First time I am feeling this way... but I supposed when I go work, it will be worse than this.. good experience I supposed...
12:40 AM
Monday, February 14, 2005
Hmm... should blog everything thats in my mind....
1st... I am going to miss all of them! =( I know none of them will miss me, but I will miss them because, tomorrow till thursday I supposed I wont have the time to see them or meet them... =( I am having my netball training tomorrow, well half of my heart is waiting and looking forward for it but another half is like dreading about it... Other than netball training tomorrow, morning I will be having my test and then before the training I will have Sports Club photo taking then need to do things for openhouse then need to go for training and probably needs to continue doing the openhouse thing... =( Predicting to be home at 11pm! =(
Talking about missing them, let me see for the past 6 weeks, how many days have I not met them. Seriously, I think at most only 10days! Gosh! I am doing harm to myself? But I really enjoy going back and crapping with them! =( How? I really feel the happiness that I wanted when I am with the group of them. Somemore, I have to 'coach' the sec1, and supporting them in their zonal. And, I have no complains about it and I want to say again, I LOVE IT! =) I guessed, due to this, I am going to be in depression for the next few days... haha! -shrugs- see how it goes...
Next, Wednesday I supposed I will be too busy to be going back too... need to settle and finish off all the openhouse thing by Wednesday... predicting to be at home at 10pm too... sad! Wondering if I will be scheduled for the Openhouse itself... I really dont want to!!! I feel the Openhouse is crap! 1 out of 10 people will choose RP as first choice, or rather I should say, they really got no choice then they will choose RP. What for do so much when no body will choose? -stupidity- because I am one out of the 10... but because I really got no much choices...
Blaming on luck again, well... I failed one of my test again! Ha! Its the same test that I failed once before... this time round I can really say that this module I will flunk! With 2 of the test being an E and a C how to do well for this module? My daily grade was being pulled down by some arshole too... or rather I should blame myself also... well... this module is going down and is going to pull my overall grades down.. sad.. no luck! hee =( -sounds like someone.. but well just for joke-
Today is Valentines day, well.. didnt celebrate with anyone because nobody wants me and so I celebrated with a group of unwanted people! Hahaha! Sorry.. just joking... well spent my night with gua, oily, sai and Terence... surprisingly to see Terence around.. but fun having him around too.. =) We went shopping at Tmall and Century and finally they found the present for HT... then we go 85 to have our dinner... thinking of my hubby, I called him and he didnt picked up... =( have fun there and well... lots of laughter too =) hahaha... =) Everyone go dutch, because I dare not to really that waste money already... I supposed I really learned from the 'confiscation' of my atm cards for 1 month... thanks mr teo! =) though still having one more card with you, but I see no need to take it back for the time being...
Next the club, I really dont know what can I do now or what else is there for me to do... I did complain about it but its because I think I really dont dare, and I see no support at all... but still I still did it... right now having about 8 exlcuding the 2 sec4s wonder if we really can start training on next friday? -shrugs- cause the girls still having zonal and probably they might get in 2nd round already...
Anyway, talked about the Saturday dinner... it was just a waste because the teachers got to go Mr Chew's house to watch soccer if not I think we will really talk alot and I think will have the best-est dinner ever... anyway, thanks for coming and well.. last but not least I need to thanks my mum for her hardwork for both days =)
Really hope to go down for training this coming Wednesday, but but but I really cannot miss the lesson already... =( Just got to bear with it... and... hope to hear the good news... about the result... please Mr Teo, informed me the result once you know it!
Anyway, I am going to add some things to my right column... =) New wishes and new goals and aims =)
10:29 PM
I hope I am just being sensitive.. and hopefully... I am... haisx...
9:13 AM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
I am treating you like a friend and a junior who I think still can be helped, if you still thinks that you are right in all aspect fine, I shant bother about it anymore. I am now telling you the bad point of you which people is always angry with you about and to you you still think you are correct than forget it, take it as I had never say before and take it as I am talking craps! And if things happened again, dont blame people! I really dont know what to day, when many and not just me know about you being like this, and to you, you are never at fault...
When for a run with YY this morning, didnt manage to run much, just run my favourite event, 400m run... well, I think I did improve in my timing by 0.05mins. If I am not wrong, I used to run 1.4mins and today timing was 1.35... Its still quite slow actually, so intend to train up and hopefully it will become 1.2... I realised my mistake in the run, I started sprinting at the wrong distance, I started to sprint at roughly 90m... at the 50m part, my legs got fast and is dashing, but its only 50m therefore I think I should start my sprinting at the curl there, which is about 100m... I shall start training and see when to start my sprint... how I wished to have such competition like sports day... =(
Anyway, today training with YY is a great one, though I dare not to run alot because she is my junior and sort of 'student' and I dare not to throw face but I think I learn alot of things about her. I realised that she is someone who is very competitive till the very large extent... I dont know is good or bad... but I think is really over... and she set a very high expectation of herself... which again, dont know is good or bad... and she lacks of self confidence... and her mentatily is still not very strong other than being very competitive... hmm.. I think also still got some other things about her also... anyway we will be going to train again next week... =) This time round I think we will really get started in serious training already... Because, my goal is there already =)
Well, didnt manage to get my lesson plan 3 done... quite sad to say that... was too tired and busy advicing and talking to her and turns out things go not very good also... Anyway, once again, my hubby talked to me about my habit again... 'I dont know' habit... and once again, its back agian.. its time to try to change again...
10:52 PM
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Woke up... buy food.. rush to school... lesson plan.. then discuss the food.. then training... rush back home... bathe.. then dinner...
I shall talked about the dinner first.. We talked... basket.. mentioned about KW... someone who I kept thinking about during this CNY... then... something not very good happened... because of Eileen and Jane... well.. but its over... so well.. =) Ha.. sarbotage Mr Teo actually... I realised him didnt bring the mandarin but I kept quiet... hee.. =X in the end he went back to school to take.. oops... =X Finally when everyone arrived, we started to eat... before that we luo hei.. well.. after that mr teo.. said toast.. then.. -.- "... everyone in this table shared a same memory where nobody can take away?" something like that.. why.. almost tears droped.. but he do it short.. so.. didnt.. gua also almost :'( hahaha... =.= so took quite a number of photos and eat... after eating.. i just hepled to clean then follow them infront... some playing computer... then some playing phone.. the rest slack.. then in a while ms goh left.. and in a while mr teo left.. and followed by eileen tay. then the rest lerhs... well.. overall it was quite a pleasant 1... and is like the dinner is sfun alrhs.. every1 is laughing and talking... just that after that.. everyone is like doing own things... then they just want to gamble... anyway.. i think after this year... maybe will try to stop myself from gambling already... lost quite a lot last year.. now again... so i think i better stopped larhs... so overall dinner is like that... tomorrow will be another batch... guess tomorrow one will be much of a serious 1.. as there will be lots to catch up on.. waiting for it too...
Lesson plan and training is very bad... haish... lesson plan was badly done because I skipped step... training.. i missed out alot of important points... last time i didnt realise that mr teo actually did say all the whys and whats and hows.. till this time... then i found out actually most of the time.. he really did explain... hmm... well.. i dont know.. seems to be losing a little of confidence liao larhs... but.. there still much for me to do... so i cant... well.. get a clearer picture already.. anyway.. got 2 lesson plans 2 be done by next thursday.. hope is a much better one..
Very tired already.. bored... going to sleep soon.. anyway.. bursary is in again! =)
12:20 AM
Friday, February 11, 2005
Oh damns... had a very very veyr very lousy lesson plan done... sadded... =( Well.. because of that need to be in school by 11am tomorrow... oh.. so got to be up by 8am to get the food and things for tomorrow night... the night which I have been waiting for... =) well... i am happy to sacrifice because both are the things i am happy of doing.. =)
Today.. was a crappy day... was too tired.. not enough sleep what... then.. just went around visiting... then sleep in the cab... then erms.. finally reached home at 9pm... hmm.. nothing much also... supposed to be going to sai's house too.. but she quite dua kang...
Arghh.. the food for tomorrow.. dont know enough or not.. maybe tomorrow morning will wake up early and discussed with my mum.. k.. get going.. bye...
1:25 AM
Thursday, February 10, 2005
I slept at 6am this morning because I reached home at 5+++... hahaha... LoLx... Woke up at 11+++ because I need to go bai nian soon...
Surprisingly, I could finish my lesson plan, but seriously I think is craps... wonder how it was because after doing it I left to Gua's place... gosh... quite worried if the plan passed or not... Anyway, I also planned leh, tomorrow morning I will go buy the stuffs needed at night then later about noon I will go back school for training(provided my hair can pass) then go back home to bathe and get ready.... I think by tonight I need to see what are the things needed tomorrow night... yeah... =)
Ha... She is the only person who will mention me after all the things I had done... I dont deny that everything I have done for everyone was from the bottom of my heart, and I dont expect something back... but alot of times people will only remember and appreciate the one who seldom did the things and forgetting the people who keep coming out.. well... but not for her... =) and I dont blame the rest because this is life... thanks! =) and.. you are welcome...
11:52 AM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Its Chu Yi... and finally its chu yi night! hahaha.. liked i said.. i slack the whole day at my ah ma's house.... hahaha... reached there about one plus... then I eat... then slept at about 3++ 4++ hahhaa... =X i hate CNY.. because it will be so bored that I sms almost every1... hahaha... I lamed with gua, mr wong... oops... me and gua gua as usual larhs.. then me and mr jason wong.. was laming all the way... hahahah.... =X at least he made my day... oh yah.. not forgetting my shifu... ermx.. didnt talk much.. but was given the task liao.. -.- dengs... nevermind.. will try to finish it by friday... =) wonder if can go on friday..
Oh yaa... was smsing gua when I left my house saying I am not at all happy because... in my heart there is something wrong... then I realise was because of my hair.. I am worrying about my hair... because I wanted to go back to ES so much... but my hair is now giving me a problem... maybe I should really go to other salon to dye it so that my uncle cannot add color.. haish haish... wonder wonder if i really can go back...
9:47 PM
Argh... want to stay up tonight... but but but... so tired now... and nothing to do... no one to disturb or talk to... so sians... mr teo damn early go sleep lorhs... -.- saying himself as a beauty... -.- gua gua n sai sai never online lorhs... den the tong tong also.. haiyos... soo bored... i sleep so much liao.. now still so sleepy... eeks... siansh...
1:38 AM
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
So suay can? I really kena my period le... =(
Actually, I should look at the bright side for everything... I shouldnt let this spoil my mood... hmm... for my grades, actually lucky now I get a A for my test, at least it helps me from a C+ become a B... so I should be glad for that what... and for my hair... at least I know its ugly in the guys' eyes, at least I know.. and yeah.. he is right... hmm.. well, for my period, well... at least is during the time when I am not in action.. so it wont disrupt my pplay... so these happenings actually is a blessing in disguise! =) Woo! =) I am so optismistic! hahahaha... And, at least there is one good news... my dearest oily tu di most probably can come over my house on friday! =) Yeah! Smileexx.. =) Hahaha... =)
I hereby wish everyone a Happy New Year, "Sheng ti jian kang", "Wan shi ru yi", "Bu bu gao sheng" =) And, for Mr Teo's son, Mr Tan's son, Mr Lee's daughter and son... "Kuai gao zhang da" =)
10:41 PM
I am super upset now! Oh damn bloody hell!!! Already quite sians after just now... then now come this shit! Eversince my grades were poorly graded since the start of my 3rd term... I gave up slightly when I received a E for my test and the rest Cs... I thought nothing can help already... I will score badly for this damn semester... furthermore my facs are giving me lousy grades even how hard I tried... and guess what!? I received another A now! All these test I didnt study at all... just going in depending on my luck.. and I doesnt care much if it was a C or what... then turn out 2 As and 1 B... haish... this is freaking sians... In the term 1 and 2, I done well in my daily grades and badly done in my UTs.. and now... I done well in my tests.. and.. my daily grades sucks! So now.. my grades will be hopeless to pull up anymore.. guess.. i shall just blame it on luck(unhealthy).... damns! Shant think so much lerx... just guess this is a lesson learnt... give up.. and when things get better... its already too late...
4:17 PM
Ha.. Just have a new hair cut... its look weird and ugly to some people... =( haish... guess it is a bad choice not to cut super short... turn out this way... haish... nevermind, this make me even more determined to cut after CNY... "you should really listen, because we are guys.. unless you are a les"arghh.. haish haish haish... supposed super short hair suits me more bah... haish... nevermind... just let it be for a few weeks.. then cut it... when I really back in action... =)
I had it dyed too... haish... told him to dye black only... he come and dye it red and black... gosh... now i am so afraid i cant go back ES liao lorhs.... arghhs... how arhs? i really say i dont know add color lorhs... den he go add red lorhs... haish haish... i asked MT, then he said still can how already like that lers.. die liao larhs... cant go back es liao larhs... aghhsh... =( dont know how sias.. =(
Nevermind... just stay happy and smile for this few days since I wont be back to school for these few days... furthermore next week when RP starts school lerhs I also wont have time to go back because of those openhouse and my netball trainings... yeah... so guess wont be back in es for about 1week or soo... so.. just let it be for the time being...
Oh! Its so bored!!! I always hated New Year Eve actually... its so boring for me... all my friends will be at home or getting ready to go their grandparents house or even getting ready for reunion dinner.... for me... will just be facing my computer and playing and maybe just sleep... use computer also bored.... because no body will be online...siansh... I just hate New Year Eve, its the most most most boring day ever man! arghhh... quick quick quick.... faster eve go... but I also dont like chu yi... cause chu yi will be the day I sleep my day away also... wahahha... =X will just go my grandmum house then sleep there.. and wait for ang baos.. hahaha... =X siansh siansh...
I cant wait for friday man!!! Arghh... it will be so fun.... because it will be my first reunion of the year.. =) hee... cant wait cant wait... heees... wah.. so tired now... guess will go and zzz soon... =)
3:43 PM
Monday, February 07, 2005
Woooo... Hoooo... Soooo... Happy!!!! =) I am Shoooooooo Happy now!!! Too many things happen today! =)
Woke up, clear my table... left with 1/8 of the work... and went to school... help them to buy some food... stupidly... because he got so nervous that he come disturb my food... mixed the chilli and my noodles... then after that disturb my drinks... then after that not stable yet... come hit my head for nothing... finally I eat finish... then dont know why... hit my head again... then he said... he cant sit still... haha... was laughing at him! but i didnt realise i myself also... then later we got into 'fight'... he used the books to hit me.. cause i hit him... =@ see his nervousness i really want to laugh like hell.. hahaha.... =p
All of them were so nervous when we reached there... even myself.... keep trying to calm themselves and.. finally the start of the match... hmm.... i supposed our girls calm themselves faster than the hsc girls... i always remember his word, 'the first team who can get their basic right, and calm themselves down will be the team who win.' they really got damn nervous, but very few mistakes were made... though the first, two quarters were a very near 1... but well.. their habit came again, they performed at their 3rd quarter... they bring up the score... which I saw my bloody coach were there standing still, quietly... no longer shouting... inside my heart is smiling already... i am so happy... finally... 4th quarter... they stay calm... and maintain well... and finally.. the whistle blew at 31 v 17... =) well done girls... i am proud of you all... you guys is reaching to create the history! hardwork reallys pay! =) well done!!!! i love all of yoU! I supposed we will be celebrating so well on fridaY! =)
My coach is so unhappy with the umpires I supposed... he approached vv ... and seeing his agitated look and actions... i roughly could understand what he is saying.. but his player is being blown many times at the 1st 2 quarters and not 3rd n 4th.. and my girls did well in their 3rd n 4th quarter! so you cant say much! They stop your players from shooting in the 4th quarter! they stop them well... when you guys only shot in two! so you cant blame the umpires... and is not only one umpire but two umpire blew...
Went to have dinner after that... again at 85... eating the same old thing.. now I think I am slightly sick of it already... damn... finally he returned my card... because i really pester him for it... and he said if the girls were to win.. he will give me... finally he gave me... and well... return him 100bucks... going to return my mum 50bucks too... ha.. he dont want return me my card, because he doesnt want me to gamble... hmm... well.. i dont usually gamble my savings... i usually only gamble what i have in my wallet... and only during CNY... so.. yeah... ermx... but before he left.. he said.. dont gamble larx.. -.- hee... and... hitted by my head twice because of that and asking me to email him... dorts... -.- i will get stupid because of today lorx... hit so many times on the head.. and once so hard!!! hmpF! =@ after that.. he left.. and we started talking dirty... oops... hahahah... so stupid... funny funny also.. then when JS talked about her birthday... all of us wnat to leave... hahaha... heee...
on the bus... asked kelly and huiwen if they have the email.. but they are not sure yet all.. damns... caused i really deleted it.. oh damn god! see how bah.. see any1 got online or not lorx...
9:31 PM
Hahaha... just woke up not long ago... too tired already... 3+++ then I sleep... busy clearing the stuffs... but but but... still got 1/4 of the work to do... now super lazy to do... I think I will only do it at night time... hahaha.... anyway... now I got 50 bucks! =) woohoo!!! So happy right? Seeing money in my wallet is such a happy thing! All thanks to my dearest, loving, IRRITATING shifu!!! Hmm... actually I shouldnt be so nice to him also, ask if he wants lunch... ya lor.. why I so nice arh? kaos! =( Nevermind la.. I always so nice 1... hahaha... hope he buy then pester him for my card... oh yea.. yesterday when I was working... got 1 customer got 2 ATM card lor! Kaos... know what? Its both POSB and UOB lorh! Th moment I saw I misssssssssss my card so much! Hmm... wonder how long had he took my card... hmm.. let me see.. it should be middle of Jan! Ohmigosh!!! Its going to be a month since I withdraw money from my card!!! But... I still owe $150!!! So still the same!! arghh.. nevermind... I am so happy now to have that piece off blue paper inside my wallet... hahaha...
11:27 AM
I am still awake... because firstly I AM ON HOLIDAY! People please do not jealous me! =) Heee... I am so bad!!! Secondly, I am being a good girl, clearing my table and cupboard, I think this is the dont know how many times you people had seen me clear and clean my table and cupboard... hahaha... I am just so lazy to do it from Monday to Saturday, and I always wait till Sunday.. and worse of all, is Sunday NIGHT! or rather Monday MORNIING! Hahaha... Just being lame anyway... hmm... left with 1/4 of work to be done... but I dont know how, how dont know where I should put those stuffs and stuffs like that... hmm.. anyway going to pass all the relevant notes to the respective people and return all the things I borrowed from them...
Looking at the table, floor and cupboard, still messy... hmm.. but level of concentration is battery weak already... and I am tired already.. guess tomorrow really no go swimming will stay at home and clean bah....
2:46 AM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Woke up super early today... because I got to work... the very thing in my mind when I stepped out was, should I just quit? Mr Teo is right, I had stop learning, what is needed to be learnt had already learned... so should I quit? After a while, I decided to stay on till June, so it will be 6months in retail. Hahaha.. so if I were to find another job, at least 6 months sound nicer.
It was super sianx! I am like a new girl. Everything seemed a little different. Ha! I am not working next week hopefully next two weeks too! =) Heee... 3pm I quickly left and went back home then sleep then woke up and bathe then sleep again... piG!
Hmm... I want to swim tomorow... but I wonder if can, because I seem to have my period now! EEEEEKKKK right? CNY then period! Damn! Tomorrow morning see if I really have my period, if no then I shall go swim. Alrights, tuesday go cut my hair already and dye my hair black already! =) Catching movie with my hubby too! =) I shall suggest lan game too? heee... but all depends if I got cash by tonight... I am a broke! With $1.40 in my wallet! hahaha... sooo... aghhh
Oh no! I have not clean my table nor clear everything! Gosh.. maybe do it tonight before I sleep??? -shrugs- Friday is confirm already, about 15 people will come my house... woohoo... =) so happY! I guess this year is the best year! =) I cant wait till New Year!!!! =)
Tomorrow... tomorrow... tomorrow... all the best my dearest girls! =) Do your best... and relax... and sleep well now... have a good night sleep... see you all tomorrow...
11:47 PM
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Early morning, wake up 'vomit' blood. Hahaha... not really vomit blood lah, but rather is like my throat as usual very uncomfortable like got something then cough out is my blood and saliva. This time round was worse I guess, last time is that the saliva I coughed is brown, this time I see blood on the transparent saliva... hahaha..
Went out early morning... to the bedok court... they were super nervous I guessed... but I think its normal because I will be like this too... they just trained, and told them a few things... then at about 12? we went off... but we discussed about the reunion dinner thing... and more or less is settled other than asking him and a few of them... dont really dare to approach him too cause i dont think it is the right time to talk about this also... hopefully he will be alirght soon....
I have no more cash... wanted to take money from my mum before I left the house but I forgotten... so I was left with $2 only! Didnt know how my lunch is going to settle, then my hubby smsed me telling me about his nephews... therefore gua and i met him then he pay lar.. dont feel good also.. went to gua's house after that, then teach her abit of maths then i fell asleep while she is doing... hahaha.. then woke up.. then about 6++ eat dinner lorhx... i was so tired.. wanted to take cab(usual stuffs) but due to no cash ... took bus again... it is really damn difficult without cash in the wallet when you are out... i feel so damn awkward... arghhh... hope sunday my dad will give me money man... haix... =( CNY please come fasterrrr.... i need cashhh...
10:25 PM
Friday, February 04, 2005
Are they being too nervous? What had gone wrong? The girls seemed so 'nua' or rather isn't like them. Every individual was so off... Yes, I am not a good player too or rather maybe all of the ES B div players are better than me, thats why there is alot of things that I cant say much or I dont dare to say... There are really a lot of things about them, but also dont know I am right or wrong... anyway but tomorrow they are going to train themselves, guess will go down and take a look.
I really hope, hope hope, they will win HSC match. I really hate my coach! I dont know why, I just hate him. I even have the thoughts of quitting if things goes wrong. Not because I am embarresed or what, but I think he is going to be a bloody arshole which I know I cant take it at all! I hate my damn bloody ars coach!!! PLease win... You guys are able to make it! I am faith and hope in you all! I love all of you! Do me and your other seniors proud, and most of all, do it to show appreciation to your coach and last but not least, to let you guys know yourself, hardwork really pays! Come on girls!
Things just dont goes right today. Woke up and my stomach was hurting! Went back to sleep after producing 'perrine'. Woke up again and s**t again. After eating was hurting again but I just fell asleep. Woke up at about 1pm! Oh no got to be there by 2pm I mean is like there is sec1 trainings and if I not there by 2pm is like so setting bad example and like I want to observe him. Therefore, I just rush my way and managed to get there on time. But after that the girls played badly, upset not because they lose, but everything is so wrong. Then went to eat, then I realised I got not enough money! I forgot to ask one important thing from him! Next, when we were walking to the bus stop then I realised my knee hurts again! Oh Damn goD! Arghh.. guess was because it had been quite some time since I trained therefore like that?
Shrugs... I dont know.. I am so tired now... yawnx... have not bathe yet and I am so full now... and full of thoughts... wondering if he is alrights also... some more he said quite a few thngs... haix.... Once again... felt so useless again... this time round seeing both side so devasted.. haix...
9:00 PM
What a boring life I have. It is so tiring. I think my friend is going to say me more and more anti-social. But I wouldnt care much. Hmm... holiday from tomorrow onwards all the way to the 14th! =) I know, after I go back school it would be a bloody shitty week for me. RP Open House on the 17th to the 19th, and due to that I am involved because I am in SPorts Club. Well, I puposely triy not to get involve but I still got in because of SC. -.- So sad right? Well, on the 16th, I need to stay overnight in school because of the OH again! Dengs... -.- 15th finally got netball training! And SC had a photo taking! Dengs once again!!! Arghhh.. what a busy week after New Year. I cant even have time to spend CNY with my peeps man! Lucky got 2 reunion dinners! =) But this mean that I got extra work to do because I got to plan and discuss and get the things done! Oh nO! What the hell!!! arghhh.. but welll I am happy to be doing all these reunion dinners rather than RP stuffs.. I am shooing away from RP... oh nooo... =S Once to love SC so much, once loving to play bball in RP, once love the trainings of netball and bball... and now.. everything is like nothing... and worse of all... I had become anti-social in my friend's point of view... hahaha.. -.- Maybe the week after next is a good time... I guess.. and I hope... =( -ponders-
Hey! I need to borrow your sleeping bag then! I dont wish to sleep on the floor or what! Just want to be well-prepared! You know who you are!!! Hee... and remember my CARD!!! I need money!!!
Woah woah woah... I am so tired now.. going to sleeep soon.. think tomorrow wake up then blog or maybe at night... good nites...
1:15 AM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Theres alot of things to blog about today... but I am tired... but I cant sleep because my hair is wet... I think I will just cut it soon because with short hair, it will dry up within 5-10 mins! I wont get irritated too...
Didnt go school today... I think I just need the break too.... I didnt know I was so tired till today... I woke up in the morning telling my mum I dont want to go school, and I fell asleep stiaght after that till my sms rang and without hesitating I just off my phone... was too tired already... at about 10 I woke up... still feeling very tired... and so I just continue sleeping.... I had never felt this tiredness for quite some time... at 11... then finally I start waking up.... then went online... have a good chat and laming with ws... haha... then finally leave to es....
At es.... I felt =S... then just lame and sit around in the pe room... finally at about 2++ then I signed in.... wah... so stupid... I saw Mdm Noreha... the sense of happiness in me! =) I joked with her... she was like so cute as usual... then she told the clerk not to give me the pass... then I said.. ekk.. bully me... =( then she laughed... and she sayang my head.. and said.. k la.. sayang sayang... haha.. so cutee.... i miss her.... all our laughters in the class....
The start of the training... i dont know la... i.. want to blog.. but... i dont know what i was feeling... i just tried my best... but i see that i am still not there yet... there is alot of things to be done... i'm still not ready? -shrugs- friday he is taking them... n i really want to be there... i want to really observe what he does... is like last time i always the student marhx... den now is like its time to really see him lorx... but he dont really agree with me ponning my class... but seriously... im really very very tired of PBL style of teaching... and is like... this friday's module i have yet to pon before... and i go or dont go the grades will be the same... so since this time he is taking them.. at least i can see how he do it... so next time when he takes the rest and when i am alone... i know what can be done... but... now he disagree me from ponning my class... haix... how how how???
i went to watch their match after that... they won... friday match is critical.. or rather the match for the other court is critical... it determined whether HSC or PLMGS will fight with us... =S dont know larh.. just like that lorx.. i also dont know... so confusing also... but they just must try their best to win all matches...
just now... well.. something damn stupid happened.. and i think i dont really wish to blog also.. but.. haix.. what a damn thing that had happened also... haix.. hopefully i can be there on friday... i am bored n tired of everything... gd nitex.. its late.. gonna slp...
1:28 AM
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I must keep this in mind!
10:49 PM
WooohO!!!!.... Guess what!!!???? I achieved A for my science UT! =) wahahahahahha!!!!! I am sooooooooooo haaaappppppppyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! ARHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant describe the happiness in meeeeee!!!!! arrrhhhhhh!!!!!! hahahahahaa!!!!!! SOOOOOO HAPPPPPYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) A A A A A A A A A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!! correct is an A!!!!! muacksssss.... sooooo happy!!!! =) I know how to do... and welll... i did it well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hopefully my today ut will be an A tooo! =) hahahahahaha!!!! soooooo happpy!!!! AAAAAAA!!!! This is my first for among the 2 semester!!! My first A!!!! And... my science grades are the bessst!!!! for now... wahahahhaaa..
1:52 PM
Arghh!!!! I am in need of money!!!! You should know who you are!!!! Arghhhhh!!!! One more day to goooooo... arghhhhhgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
1:52 AM
Mr Chew and Mr Leong.... Happy Birthday!!!! =) Hubby I know you will be reading this, so ... Happy birthday yeah! And if can, help me pass the message to Mr Chew too... =) Sorry unable to get anything or even a card... Sorry!!! =( Anyway, stay =) Happy birthday! Mr Teo.. saw thiss help me pass the message to Mr Chew...
Happy Birthday to Mr Chew AND Mr Leong!!!
1:50 AM
